In an attempt to participate on tumblr more and not just stalk my cousin and sister, I am going to let loose my traumatic experience of the day!
Here we go:
I’m biking to school, its a normal day, many squirrels abound. I’m just about to come up to a bike circle and I see this squirrel on the side of the road, looking as if he’s debating on crossing the road. I’m getting really close at this point and thinking to myself, don’t you dare cross right now, you little squirrely beast, don’t you dare. GUESS WHAT
So this is a first, I’ve regrettably run over a squirrel in a car before, but running over one on a bike is SO TRAUMATIZING. I don’t even know if he’s dead, but I think I ran over his head.
I texted a few people about this traumatic event and had some good responses.
If it helps, remember that college campus squirrels are a separate and disturbed breed and they are most DEFINITELY planning something. So it was less of a murder and more an unintentional assassination of an enemy agent.
When I told my two friends about it, we had a long conversation that essentially boiled down to my friend Julia writing a comic or graphic novel of my experience. My other friend Lauren would act as the Good Samaritan and try to revive the squirrel, who’d give her rabies, and she’d die, but then come back to life as a zombie for revenge on the squirrels.
We also had a debate on what kind of squirrel it was. Options: a depressed and suicidal squirrel who had good timing, a squirrel who had bad karma and thus was pushed by one of it’s own, or a selfless squirrel that was protecting its young with it’s own life (?)
my sister responded in all caps very sympathetically :D
^—the people in my life are amazing.
Sorry squirrel. this is an ode to you, dear soul.